Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Comment on Guardian article which illustrates why relationship rape laws are not a good thing:

Interesting. ran a youth program a few years ago. A party occurred, girl drank a lot, got 'flirtatious' (her term) found a likely young man, initiated sex, then 'started acting weird' (his term) so they stopped. next day, girl went home and mother questioned her apparent sadness. Girl felt she 'might have been raped, but couldn't remember' (her words). Boy contacted. His story exactly the same as the girls (except the bits she didn't remember, e.g. the flirtation and dragging him into a room (he's known as a shy boy, everybody saw...)). Police called in. Rape test performed (negative, but only tests for insemination). result: boy stigmatized for rape; girl stigmatized as a 'cry wolf liar' by all their mutual friends, male and female. Still 'can't remember', left college and now lives with Mum, who wants 'someone' (not necessarily the original 'co-operative' boy) punished. there have been death threats and suicide threats. . The problem in this type of scenario is not even that awkward or bad or non-consensual sex (partially) took place.. it's that the mix of sexual excitement, alcohol (and probably grass) and 'amnesia' seem to be very common as the rationale of why A or B was guilty or not guilty of rape (depending on your point of view). the same events can equally be interpreted as teenage stupidity, 'life's like that' or rape. The police I spoke to (as I knew both kids and the social group) dropped the case, and all 'grey area' cases like this, as they said usually they only act on clear cases of coercion or violence... glaringly, it is the girl in this case who has been most marked.This kind of half/half situation (leaving 'amnesia' aside) is very common indeed, when both young people start something, then one (in this case the girl) changes their mind. In this case, the boy stopped all intimacy, but the booze, a bad night's sleep and a worried parent took the whole situation into kafkaesque realms.So, my question to you: did rape take place?
Link: How do we teach young people what sexual consent really means? comment rustypooh 28 August 2012 6:16AM


  1. Sorry to see your innocent comment removed from here today, like mine


    They had the audacity to send me an email saying

    With very best wishes,


    Community Moderator

    Thank you so much for your comment to our blog on the new
    anti-stalking laws. We were incredibly moved by your story and wish we
    could do more to ease what must be the most incredibly traumatic

    Unfortunately, we have had to remove that comment because it's potentially legally risky.
    As we do not have the expertise here to offer help and advice we have tried to find the best
    sources that can.

    it was not legally risky at all, all names had been redacted, no one identified. I emailed them back and told them their story was offensive and proved to them why, and they have now banned me from the guardian online.

  2. If you would like to know more, email me privately c/o chairmanatd.v.s.o@aol.com, please do not publish this address.